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FML - FMyLife: Laugh life off by sharing your daily mishaps and embarrassments, because it's good to share.
Обработано роботом:
2024-04-19 01:46:06
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2024-04-19 01:46:06
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Последние новости
The heart wants what it wants
2024-04-19 01:00
Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML
By bob
Crap
2024-04-18 23:00
Today, I live in my own house, but on my mom’s property. Whether I look outside towards the south, west, or east, I always look upon some ugly crap my mom has lying around. Except the north. On that side, it’s the neighbors’ crap. FML
By Anonymous
Combo breaker
2024-04-18 21:00
Today, in the middle of an argument, my husband picked me up and sat me on our breakfast bar. I’m terrified of heights so getting down took me over 5 minutes because of how bad I was shaking. He left to meet his friends, who “don’t start arguments just because they’re bored.” FML
By Anonymous
Not now!
2024-04-18 17:00
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
By Anonymous
Lost
2024-04-18 15:00
Today, the employee entrance to my workplace was moved. Not only will no one tell me where it is, they all insist it wasn’t moved. There’s literally a sign on the door that says the entrance has been moved. FML
By directionally challenged
The truth will out
2024-04-18 13:00
Today, my uncle got drunk and started ranting about how great I was and how amazing it is that I almost wasn’t born because somehow I managed to survive the failed abortion my mom really wanted. News to me. Mom never wanted me and tried to abort me. FML
By Anonymous
Keeping up
2024-04-18 10:00
Today, lots of guys my age are confident and in the best shape of their life. I've been working out since high-school. However, since I turned 20, my body has become increasingly injury prone on my joints and tendons from wear and tear. I feel like I'm slowly breaking down and I'm only 24. FML
By guy
Kinda abusive, you know?
2024-04-18 07:00
Today, I have spheksophobia, a fear of wasps and hornets. Instead of being supportive, my parents have decided that threatening to beat the dog shit out of me whenever I react to a wasp in the house is the best way to "cure" me. They also won't spray against wasps because dad claims it irritates his allergies. FML
By Anonymous
Genius
2024-04-18 01:00
Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML
By Anonymous
Two-faced
2024-04-17 23:00
Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML
By Anonymous
Tonight, on 'First Dates'…
2024-04-17 21:00
Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML
By Anonymous
Leaked
2024-04-17 17:00
Today, I found out that my toilet leaked into the apartment's ceiling downstairs and it's going to cost over $2000 to fix the ceiling and the clear all of the mould out. I have two different types of insurance and neither of them are likely to cover it. FML
By Nick
Oddly suspicious
2024-04-17 15:00
Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML
By Brittany
This whole marriage is a scam
2024-04-17 13:00
Today, we discovered that our wedding licence from 7 years ago is a complete fake. I don’t get it: we were married in a church by a priest, we got all our paperwork filed with the city council, but our certificate is apparently a fake someone made on a computer, and they got the date wrong. FML
By Anonymous
Dude, gross!
2024-04-17 10:00
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
By juggalo2
Legacy
2024-04-17 07:00
Today, it's been a week since my mother died. She had no life insurance and was over $20,000 in debt, plus her hospital/funeral bills. My father wants nothing to do with me as she was a one night stand and he never paid child support. I'm behind on rent and bills because I'm injured from work. Thanks for nothing, mom. FML
By Anonymous
Protest song
2024-04-17 01:00
Today, I picked my sister up from the hospital. Apparently, she got into it with some guy who “didn’t look disabled” for parking in a handicapped spot and laid under his tires to stop him from leaving. He didn’t realize and ran her over. Now I have to listen to her bitch and moan about it. FML
By Anonymous
Pissed off
2024-04-16 23:00
Today, I'd thought I was somewhat friends with a girl, the only person I actually talked to outside of school, but after overhearing a discussion I think she may actually have restricted me on Instagram, because I've "always pissed me off anyway." FML
By Anonymous
[Spicy] |
Wipe time
2024-04-16 21:00
Today, I came home and walked into my living room to see my roommate passed out naked, porn autoplaying on the living room TV, a killed 12-case of beer, and dried jizz all over the couch from God knows how many loads. “I thought you were coming home tomorrow,” he said. At least the sofa is leather. FML
By brad
Talk to me
2024-04-16 17:00
Today, I called the suicide hotline, only to get lectured by a very condescending man. I hung up and called back, only for the other line to pick up and hang up on me immediately. FML
By Anonymous
