Добрый день!

Сегодня предлагаем вашему вниманию несколько анекдотов, смешных и веселых историй на английском языке.

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Customer: May I try on that blue suit in the window?

Salesman: No, sir. You'll have to use the dressing room.

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Jim: I'm glad I wasn't born in France.

Ed: Why?

Jim: I can't speak a word of French.

*

A lady goes into a shop and says to the salesman, "I'd like a fur coat please."

"What fur?" queried the salesman.

"Why, to keep myself warm, of course!"

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A well-dressed man, his nose slightly in the air, stepped out of the hotel and snapped at the doorman, "You, there! Call me a cab."

"Yes, sir!" fired back the sarcastic doorman. "You are a cab."

*

Jim: This match you gave me won't light.

Ed: That's funny. It did this morning.

*

A husband and wife had just arrived at the airport, parked the car in the closest spot which was several hundred yards away from the entrance and pulled and carried all of their luggage into the terminal, when the husband stopped and sighed. "I wish I'd brought the piano with us," he muttered.

"Why?" asked his wife. "Because I've left the plane tickets on it."

*

A man staying at a very posh hotel had gone to use the swimming pool. As he paused on the upper-most diving board, arms raised, an attendant screamed out, "Don't dive!! There's no water in the pool!"

"That's okay," the visitor declared. "I can't swim!"

*

A kind-hearted old-lady saw a little girl standing outside the school doors crying. "What's the matter, Miss?" asked the lady. "Rheumatism," replied the student.

"Rheumatism? At your age?"

"Yes," replied the little girl. "I failed the test because I couldn't spell it!"

С наступающими вас праздниками!

До встречи в следующем номере рассылки.