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Английский для начинающих и продолжающих


Английский для начинающих и продолжающих
Алексея ВИНИДИКТОВА

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Baked Beans

[beɪkt biːnz]

Once there lived a man who had a passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they had a lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love (влюбился). When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "she is such a sweet and gentle girl, she will never go for this kind of carrying on." So making the supreme sacrifice, he gave up baked beans. They were married shortly thereafter.

[wʌns ðeə lɪvd ə mæn huː hæd ə ˈpæʃən fə beɪkt biːnz. hiː lʌvd ðəm bʌt ðeɪ hæd ə ˈlаɪvlɪ riːˈækʃən ɒn hɪm. ðen wʌn deɪ hiː met ə gɜːl ənd fel ɪn lʌv. wen ɪt bɪˈkeɪm əˈpærənt ðæt ðeɪ wʊd ˈmærɪ, hiː θɔːt tə hɪmˈself, ʃiː ɪz sʌʧ ə swiːt ənd ˈʤentl gɜːl, ʃiː wɪl ˈnevə gəʊ fər  ðɪs kаɪnd ɒv ˈkærɪɪŋ ɒn. səʊ ˈmeɪkɪŋ ðə sjuːˈpriːm ˈsækrɪfаɪs, hiː geɪv ʌp beɪkt biːnz. ðeɪ wɜː ˈmærɪd ˈʃɔːtlɪ ðeərˈɑːftə.]

Months later, his car broke down on the way home from work, and he had to walk home. On the way home, he went into a small cafe and called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. After making the call, he smelled baked beans in the cafe. They were the best beans he had ever smelled! He could not resist and had three large orders of baked beans.

[mʌnθs ˈleɪtə, hɪz kɑː brəʊk dаʊn ɒn ðə weɪ həʊm frɒm wɜːk, ənd hiː hæd tə wɔːk həʊm. ɒn ðə weɪ həʊm, hiː went ˈɪntʊ ə smɔːl ˈkæfeɪ ənd kɔːld hɪz wаɪf ənd təʊld hɜː ðæt hiː wʊd biː leɪt bɪˈkɒz hiː hæd tə wɔːk həʊm. ˈɑːftə ˈmeɪkɪŋ ðə kɔːl, hiː smeld beɪkt biːnz ɪn ðə ˈkæfeɪ. ðeɪ wɜː ðə best biːnz hiː hæd ˈevə smeld! hiː kʊd nɒt rɪˈzɪst ənd hæd θriː lɑːʤ ˈɔːdəz ɒv beɪkt biːnz.]

All the way home he had gas.

[ɔːl ðə weɪ həʊm hiː hæd gæs.]

His wife seemed excited and somewhat agitated to see him, exclaiming, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight!"

[hɪz wаɪf siːmd ɪkˈsаɪtɪd ənd ˈsʌmwɒt ˈæʤɪteɪtɪd tə siː hɪm, ɪksˈkleɪmɪŋ, ˈdɑːlɪŋ, аɪ hæv ðə məʊst ˈwʌndəfʊl səˈprаɪz fə ˈdɪnə təˈnаɪt.]

She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the dining room table. He seated himself. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him vow not to touch the blindfold until she returned. Seizing the opportunity of her absence, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his lap and fanned the air about him.

[ʃiː ˈblаɪndfəʊldɪd hɪm ənd led hɪm tə hɪz ʧeər æt ðə ˈdаɪnɪŋ ruːm ˈteɪbl. hiː ˈsiːtɪd hɪmˈself. ʤʌst æz ʃiː wɒz əˈbаʊt tə rɪˈmuːv ðə ˈblаɪndfəʊld, ðə ˈtelɪfəʊn ræŋ. ʃiː meɪd hɪm vаʊ nɒt tə tʌʧ ðə ˈblаɪndfəʊld ənˈtɪl ʃiː rɪˈtɜːnd. ˈsiːzɪŋ ðiː ˌɒpəˈtjuːnɪtɪ ɒv hɜː ˈæbsəns, hiː ˈʃɪftɪd hɪz weɪt tə wʌn leg ənd let gəʊ. ɪt wɒz nɒt lаʊd bʌt æz rаɪp æz ˈrɒtn egz. hiː tʊk ðə ˈnæpkɪn frɒm hɪz læp ənd fænd ðiː eə əˈbаʊt hɪm.]

Things had just returned to normal when he felt another urge coming on. So he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a prize winner. He figured that he must be done. But then he made a third fart. This one made the flowers at the table wilt! Yet somehow his wife didn't hear him.

[θɪŋz hæd ʤʌst rɪˈtɜːnd tə ˈnɔːməl wen hiː felt əˈnʌðə ɜːʤ ˈkʌmɪŋ ɒn. səʊ hiː ˈʃɪftɪd hɪz weɪt tə ðiː ˈʌðə leg ənd let gəʊ əˈgen. ðɪs wɒz ə prаɪz ˈwɪnə. hiː ˈfɪgəd ðæt hiː mʌst biː dʌn. bʌt ðen hiː meɪd ə θɜːd fɑːt. ðɪs wʌn meɪd ðə ˈflаʊəz æt ðə ˈteɪbl wɪlt! jet ˈsʌmhаʊ hɪz wаɪf dɪdnt hɪə hɪm.]

While keeping his ear on the phone conversation in the hall, he again fanned vigorously until he heard the phone farewells, indicating the end of his freedom. He was the very picture of innocence when his wife returned.

[wаɪl ˈkiːpɪŋ hɪz ɪə ɒn ðə fəʊn ˌkɒnvəˈseɪʃən ɪn ðə hɔːl, hiː əˈgen fænd ˈvɪgərəslɪ ənˈtɪl hiː hɜːd ðə fəʊn ˈfeəˈwelz ˈɪndɪkeɪtɪŋ ðiː end ɒv hɪz ˈfriːdəm. hiː wɒz ðə ˈverɪ ˈpɪkʧə ɒv ˈɪnəsəns wen hɪz wаɪf rɪˈtɜːnd.]

Apologizing for taking so long (долгое отсутствие), she asked if he had peeked. He assured her that he had not.

[əˈpɒləʤаɪzɪŋ fə ˈteɪkɪŋ səʊ, lɒŋ ʃiː ɑːskt ɪf hiː hæd piːkt. hiː əˈʃʊəd hɜː ðæt hiː hæd nɒt.]

At this point, she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise -- Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party!

[æt ðɪs pɔɪnt, ʃiː rɪˈmuːvd ðə ˈblаɪndfəʊld ənd ðeə wɒz hɪz səˈprаɪz -- twelv ˈdɪnə gests ˈsiːtɪd əˈrаʊnd ðə ˈteɪbl fə hɪz səˈprаɪz ˈbɜːθdeɪ ˈpɑːtɪ!]

Чтобы увидеть перевод любого слова, подведите к нему курсор. Работает не во всех почтовых программах.

До встречи!

Искренне ваш,
Алексей Винидиктов
vinidiktov.ru


 

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