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Английский - Полный аудиокурс. От фонетики до живой речи . Correct
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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Mr.Sherlock Holmes and Dr.Watson
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Adventure Of The Dancing Men - 1 hour Red Circle - 43 minutes The Stockbrokers Clerk - 42 minutes The Traitor - 26 minutes The Veiled Lodger - 42 minutes The Yellow Face - 42 minutes White elephant - 28 minutes |
Politically Incorrect Dictionary
The words listed here are words that are no longer usable, or whose
meanings
have been altered to make them difficult to use. These were all words which
could be freely used at some point in US history, but which modern culture
is attempting to stamp out.
Broken Home
- Replaced by Dysfunctional family.Bum
- Replaced by Homeless Person.Calling a person a "Bum" implies that the person is a moocher that is too lazy to get a job. Refering to him as a "Homeless Person" removes this stigma, and implies that he would be a perfectly normal citizen if only the government would give him a house. (See Socialism)Crazy
- Replaced by the term Mental Illness. And, since it is an illness, it may be treated in the same manner as other diseases - with drugs. Of course, this idea is nothing new ... people have been using drugs to treat depression for centuries.Criminal
- Replaced by Behaviourally challenged. This is one change that makes sense. A lot of the people in prisons today are not really "criminals" in the classic sense. Thanks to the "War on Drugs", there are a lot of people in jail because they failed to "behave" properly.Fat
- Replaced by Enlarged physical condition caused by a completely natural genetically-induced hormone imbalance. Of course, this is very difficult to say in one breath-- so people will find it easier to not say it at all. The term "fat" is simply too short and to direct. It all too clearly points out that the reason that an obsese person's skin appears so swollen is because it is being butressed by large amounts of... well... Fat.Foreign Food
- Replaced by Ethnic Cuisine. The word foreign is generally used when one wishes to refer to something that alien to ones own country -- something that is not normally found within the jurisdiction of your own particular political unit. But with the increasing power of multinationalorganizations (such as the U.N.), nothing can be said to be truly 'foreign' anymore. In a world where you can find a McDonald's in Moscow, a Disneyland in Japan, or a single currency throughout Europe, the word 'Foreign' is losing its meaning. The word 'ethnic' provides a more accurate way to refer to these cultural traits which are continually growing fainter as we move away from the world of the past, in which different areas of the world where actually unique.
Garbage Man
- Replaced by Sanitation Engineer – A Garbage Man picks up garbage. A Sanitation Engineer engineers it.Ghetto
- Replaced by Economically disadvantaged area. This term is used by politicians who believe money from the Government would solve their problems. (See Socialism)Girlfriend/Wife
- Replaced by Unpaid sex workerHandicapped
- Replaced by Physically Challenged, or even worse, handicapableHome-ec
(Home Economics) - Replaced by Family and Consumer Sciences, and I'm really not sure why. These classes have been taught in school since the early 1900's after Ellen Swallow Richards, an old-time feminist and the first woman to graduate from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, formed the American Home Economics Association in 1909. But I suppose that the reason for the change has something to do with the fact that Home-Ec is generally considered a 'girly' class, and is therefore sexist.Housewife
- Replaced by Domestic Engineer. This is to remove the necessity of marriage from the task of raising children.Illegal Aliens
- Replaced by Undocumented Immigrants. The phrase ‘Illegal Aliens’ implies that these people are a bunch of law-breaking creatures from outer space, while ‘Undocumented Immigrants’ suggests that they are good old-fashioned immigrants that simply have not gone through the hassle of being ‘documented’ yet.Janitor
- Replaced by Custodial Artist. No matter what you call it, this is a person is paid to clean up shit.Jungle
- Replaced by Rainforest. A Rainforest is a happy place where disney characters dance and sing ... a jungle is a scary place with lions, tigers, malaria and natives that want to cut off your head and boil it for dinner... who in their right mind would want to save that!?!Man’s Job and Woman’s Work
- Replaced by Traditional Gender Role. These are basic practices that are followed in one form or another by most of the life forms on this planet, and have been part of human culture for thousands of years… and as with most other ‘traditions’, a lot of people believe that it is time for a change.Midget
- Replaced by Vertically Challenged.Natural Disaster
- replaced by Unnatural Event caused by man's destruction of the environment. Every hurricane, mudslide, and flood is blamed on Global Warming, even though these events have been occuring for millions of years.Nigger
- Originally - A negro Slave. Has evolved to mean "A Trashy Negro", but the word has still lost acceptance. (see : White Trash)Secretary
- Replaced by Adminstrative Assistant – The word Secretary comes from Latin and means ‘Confidential Officer’ – And for some unknown reason this is a bad thing.Swamp
- Replaced by Wetland. Swamps are full alligators, bugs, and disease. If anybody went around saying that we need to "save the swamps", people would think they were out of their friggin' mind!Trailer Park
- Replace by Mobile Home Community.Ugly
- Replaced by Visually Challenging.White Trash
- Losers of European descent. Term still in acceptance, although its counterpart term to describe trash of the negro race is being eliminated.POLITICALLY CORRECT BEDTIME STORIES
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
There once was a young person named Red Riding Hood who lived with her mother on the edge of a large wood. One day her mother asked her to take a basket of fresh fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house, not because this was womyn's work, mind you, but because the deed was generous and helped engender a feeling of community. Furthermore, her grandmother was not sick, but rather was in full physical and mental health and was fully capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult.
So Red Riding Hood set off with her basket through the woods. Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place and never set foot in it. Red Riding Hood, however, was confident enough in her own budding sexuality that such obvious Freudian imagery did not intimidate her.
On the way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood was accosted by a wolf, who asked her what was in her basket. She replied, "Some healthful snacks for my grandmother, who is certainly capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult."
The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."
Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way."
Red Riding Hood walked on along the main path.
But, because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the wolf knew a quicker route to Grandma's house. He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself. Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist notions of what was masculine or feminine, he put on Grandma's nightclothes and crawled into bed.
Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have brought you some fat-free, sodium-free snacks to salute you in your role of a wise and nurturing matriarch."
From the bed, the wolf said softly, "Come closer, child, so that I might see you."
Red Riding Hood said, "Oh, I forgot you are as optically challenged as a bat. Grandma, what big eyes you have!"
"They have seen much, and forgiven much, my dear."
"Grandma, what a big nose you have, only relatively, of course, and certainly attractive in its own way."
"It has smcllcd much, and forgiven much, my dear."
"Grandma, what big teeth you have!"
The wolf said, "I am happy with who I am and what I am," and leaped out of bed. He grabbed Red Riding Hood in his claws, intent on devouring her.
Red Riding Hood screamed, not out of alarm at the wolf's apparent tendency toward cross-dressing, but because of his willful invasion other personal space.
Her screams were heard by a passing woodchopper-person (or log-fuel technician, as he preferred to be called). When he burst into the cottage, he saw the melee and tried to intervene. But as he raised his ax, Red Riding Hood and the wolf both stopped.
"And just what do you think you're doing?" asked Red Riding Hood.
The woodchopper-person blinked and tried to answer, but no words came to him.
"Bursting in here like a Neanderthal, trusting your weapon to do your thinking for you!" she exclaimed. "Sexist! Speciesist! How dare you assume that womyn and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man's help!"
When she heard Red Riding Hood's impassioned speech, Grandma jumped out of the wolf's mouth, seized the woodchopper-person's ax, and cut his head off. After this ordeal, Red Riding Hood, Grandma, and the wolf felt a certain commonality of purpose. They decided to set up an alternative household based on mutual respect and cooperation, and they lived together in the woods happily ever after.
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