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Английский с Лингвоманом

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Английский язык. Пополняем словарный запас. Нескучный английский (2)


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Английский язык. Пополняем словарный запас
Сказочный курс английского языка 3 | Тренажер Open Book 1.4.10 | "Лингвоман"

Нескучный Английский (2)

Продолжаю публиковать отрывки из готовящейся к изданию электронной книги "Нескучный английский".

Если вы подведете курсор к любому слову, то увидите во всплывающей подсказке его перевод. Перевод не дан только для самых простых слов, таких как I (я), he (он), she (она) и т.д. В финальной версии все слова будут озвучены.

Если вы читаете почту в программе The Bat!, подсказки в рассылке работать не будут. Решить эту проблему можно следующим способом: каждое письмо в формате html представлено в The Bat! файлом Message.html. Этот файл можно открыть для просмотра в установленном по умолчанию браузере. Как это сделать? Нет ничего проще! Дважды щелкните по файлу Message.html, затем выберите желаемое действие: сохранить на жестком диске или сразу открыть в браузере.

Enjoy and be ready for some more fun!

 

Blonde Passenger

A blonde gets on a plane and goes up to first-class.

The flight attendant tells her that she will have to move back; her ticket is not for first class.

The blonde says, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California."

The main flight attendant is brought in and explains that she will have to move.

The blonde says, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California."

The attendants tell the pilot. He comes in and looks the situation over. He leans over and whispers something to the blonde and she gets up immediately and moves out of first class.

The attendants are flabbergasted, "What did you say to her?"

"I just told her that this section of the plane doesn't go to California."

Blind Pilots

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.

At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.

The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.

Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.

When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!

The Irish Love Their Beer

A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness.

Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"

Foul Barroom Odor

A man walks into a bar and sits down to a man that is obviously intoxicated.

He smells a foul odor and asks the drunk, "Did you crap your pants?"

The drunk said "yup."

The man then asked the drunk, "Why don't you go to the bathroom?", to which the drunk replied,

"Cause I ain't done yet!"

To be continued...

 

До встречи!

Искренне ваш,
Алексей Винидиктов
www.vinidiktov.ru

Сказочный курс английского языка 3 | Тренажер Open Book 1.4.10 | "Лингвоман"
© 2004, Алексей Винидиктов
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